sad day

Everywhere I go there's someone with a kid.

Friday night when we went to go get Sam, we were waiting in the car and saw a couple houses down a guy pulling his 3-4 year old hard by the arm yelling at him, pushed him into the car and then kicked the kid. Why do people like that get to have kids and I can't?

A long time ago, I used to be afraid of having kids in case I might have a kid someday that wasn't 'normal', but the other day I saw a grandma in the grocery store chatting along with a Down's syndrome baby and the little kid was looking up at her with so much love and I realized I didn't care anymore. I just wanted someone to show the world to, how beautiful the clouds are, how neat it is when a kitten purrs by your neck, legos and bicycles and swimming. My friend Mero just bought his 3 (4?) year old a new bike and spent Saturday teaching him how to ride it and I am so envious, and I'll never get to do this.

James doesn't want to adopt.