Not everyone's a mommy

I want my heart to stop beating.

haunted houses

There's this old mansion that used to be in town on 29 until they tore it down, that R and I snuck into one day and I used to take pictures of it from outside the chain link fence that surrounded the property.

It was a really strange place. Red stone with four white columns in the front. Grey roof. Big doorway surrounded with glass blocks. It was built all with concrete and the upstairs was divided in two with two equally sized bedrooms with the frames of two full sized beds in each room made into the floor, like a dormitory room.

And there was an attic with a small half oval window that we didn't find our way up into (which is good because even in full sunlight it felt like there was evil up there) and the shower in one of the upstairs bedrooms was this small little dark room with green tile.

And the yard was overgrown with weeds and wildflowers and there were brambly oak trees growing in front, and a stone gate that separated the driveway from the highway.



And I dream about this mansion all the time though in my dreams the layout is different but I know its W. Mansion still and I know that its going to be torn down in the near future (in my dream)

And in my dreams its haunted (in theory the real place was haunted too, but we didn't see it) and I wander through this place trying to make peace with the house that is so full of enmity.

And there are parts of the house that want to be torn down, but other parts that want me to rescue pieces of it and get it to safety

And there's places in the house, rooms that I don't go in because they're so dark and I'm scared. Rooms coming off a long dark hallway that I don't have the guts to walk down.

And at the end of the dream I always end up outside, on the front porch waiting for the destruction to come, either the house destroying itself or the city coming to tear it down.

and its always so quiet because there's no sound in that dream.



I also dream about my grandparents house sometimes, but in this case, the house is empty (the furniture is there, but there's no people or even ghosts) and they've moved and I wander through it worried that someone will break in.

Its pretty clear to me what the W. Mansion dream means, but I still don't know what the grandparents house dream is trying to tell me.