Tuesday, April 03, 2007

V8 #4 is down

What I don't like is that the nutrition label says:

Vitamin A: 25%
Vitamin C: 80%
Calcium: 2%
Iron: 2%
Potassium: 570mg
Total Carbohydrate: 7g
Dietary Fiber: 1g
Sugars: 6g
Sodium: 80mg
Protein: 1g

Ok I just chugged one of the nastiest substances on earth. Something made of 8 vegetables pureed. Why doesn't the Nutrition Facts label need like an annex? It should be so full of nutritional goodness, it should be continued on another can. It's not even 100% of any vitamin, let alone say that it will lengthen your life span by any amount of time. What's up with this? I feel cheated! What good are 8 vegetables if that's all the nutritional facts it can give?

But I've got my method down.
1. Open Yogurt Smoothie drink. Set aside.
2. Open V8 can. Do not inhale once the can is open for the chance of smelling the liquid hate you're about to drink.
3. Before you have time to think, put can to mouth and drink continuously, gulp gulp gulp.
4. At the end as it gets harder to get it all in a gulp because the can is emptying, let it drain into mouth so as to make one long final gulp. Do not give oxygen a chance to get to your tongue or else your tastebuds might awaken from their shock induced coma.
5. Slam the can down as you take the final gulp
6. Immediately, lift the yogurt smoothie (necessary as you need a taste as strong as the liquid hate) and start to coat the entire inside of your mouth with its thick yogurtiness. Take care to keep oxygen off your tongue.
7. Close your eyes and fight the shiver running up your spine.
8. Congratulate yourself on another bullet you've taken for the team. What doesn't kill you, doesn't seem to have the nutritional benefits something this nasty should have, but w/e.

3 comments:

Grammy G said...

You are so funny. I promise it won't kill you. I drink a glass every morning too.

Missy said...

You crack me up. I have not had mine for like a week. I feel like I have let you down. UGH better go get some.

Wm. said...

lol