Motive, Bison Stampede

Its official. I've decided to do a half marathon. My goal is to finish in under 4 hrs so I can get the finisher medal. Other than that, my goal is to not die.

Its in November. Chuys 5K is May 12th - two weeks!!!!!!

EDIT: I failed tonight :(
I didn't wake up in time this morning to do my 5k at the park so I decided to do it this evening. I went there with the goal to do the whole thing, jogging slow, without stopping. Not only did I have to stop, I had to walk about half of it.

Two reasons:
1. I'd been drinking Sobe Lean all day instead of water and I could taste it as my chest was tightening up.
2. I went too early and it was still super hot and the sun was in my face. I guess I'm not ready for heat running yet.

So I overheated. I'm not sad about it, but I'm mad at myself because I knew better. I should have waited to go until 7 instead of 6, but I wanted to get it done so I could get other things done tonight. :(
I came home defeated and ran a bit in my neighborhood, but I'm not giving up. I'm just smarter now and better aware of my immutable limits.

cool phrase i heard today

half-whackerjawed adj.

used in a sentence "I can't leave it half-whackerjawed"

In Your Face, every male I know

I just had my own private Karaoke session in my car during 94.7's 80's at 8, and came home and purchased THREE songs.

Are you ready? (Sam you should probably sit if you read this)
1. Jessie's Girl
2. Take on Me
3. Come on Eileen

my first sundress!

It has a detail stitched on it which makes it acceptable for me to own something so grown up and un-tough as a sundress :D

something just isn't quite right

The first line of "Lazy Eye" by Silversun Pickups is "I've been waiting for this moment all my life. And its not quite right"

I look around at my life right now. I am decider of my own path. I can choose to do anything with my life. If I fail, its on me. If I succeed its me. I am my own person for the first time in my life and even though there are things that still scare me, fear doesn't stop me like it used to. I've done and seen so much in the past few months and I feel alive. I finally belong to me.

But something just isn't quite right.

Fortunes in my wallet

Fortune cookies rarely have real fortunes in them or even do they often have anything in them worth reading, prophesy based or not. So when you open a cookie and read something of value, its a special moment.

I have kept four strips of paper in my wallet from fortune cookies.

One isn't that cool, but it is a fortune:
"You will have good luck in the Spring"

The others I kept because they're awesome and I want to remember them:
"Fate loves the fearless"
"You have a remarkable power which you are not using"
"What you see in the mirror, and what you can be are two different images"

Quote of the day

Which does not supplant Quote of the Month:

"I welcome competition.... more people to crush, "
Rebecca 24 April 2007

serious me

Quote of the month

Its time to stop making excuses why you can't do something, and time to start making excuses why you can.
-Rebecca

In your face, fear of heights!

I guess I'm on a theme this week of getting over my fear of heights... I dunno, but I have been saying I'm going back to Main Event and climbing that wall and I did it! I gtalked with Billy today and asked him to go to Chuys with me and he said sure. So I picked him up, we drove to Chuys but it was packed, so I decided we'd go to the one on Lamar and I said, "I figure I'm gonna kidnap you to make you go to Main Event with me and we can climb the wall".

We didn't end up at Chuys, but instead went to Freebirds because he'd never eaten there before then on to Main Event. The guy who was supposed to be running the floor and fitting people in their harnesses seemed less than enthusiastic about his job, but I didn't let that get to me.

Billy said he'd never made it to the top either but he doesn't have a fear of heights, but he was really awesome encouraging me up a little more each time. He took the harder wall with the black knobs and he'd go up as high as I went and then fall back down whenever I did and finally we did a little bit more each time and made it to the top.

When I was struggling with trusting the rope, I made myself remember the glass floor and how I learned to trust my brain which told me it was safe despite what my heart said and I also remembered the description my friend Josh gave me of the electrical work he does hanging from a harness with no big soft pad beneath him. Those two things gave me the strength to put both my hands on the rope and lean back away from the wall.

I wish they gave first time bell ringers little souvenirs or ribbons.

Kickboxing

For those who haven't been there, this is what the martial arts school I go to looks like.

Mr. Goldade is on the left and Mr. Bond is on the right.

CN Tower!

Our last site to see in Toronto was the CN tower (cntower.ca)

I was afraid that I'd get dizzy from the height but it was actually not any big deal. I've had worse vertigo from leaning over the railing in the mall and looking down at the first floor than from this. Maybe its because the height was so absurd, or maybe it was because the building felt so solid, I dont know.

From a distance.


R is hyper riding up the glass elevator to the first observation deck:


We ate at the restaurant at the first level. The view of Toronto was amazing. Its neat looking down at the helicopters and tops of airplanes. I like this shot because R looks like the girl from Amelie, which is a movie I adore. Of course, R looks prettier than Amelie, but she has that same mischievious look in her eyes.


Shot of R and Lon on the glass floor which gives the person on the floor a view of a straight shot down. I waited a couple mins before getting on the floor, which I'm glad I did or else I would have assaulted the 10 year old girl who decided to jump up and down on the glass. Lon, who doesn't have a fear of heights said even he got vertigo.


Its funny when you first get on the floor, you don't really walk out onto it. You sort of hold your foot over it, testing it with your weight, even though you see all these people standing on it as well. Its interesting trying to teach yourself to completely disregard all instincts and go solely on what your higher level thought is telling you.



I'm really glad Rebecca made me do this. Lately I have been feeling lost and confused, especially about the way some of the relationships in my life are changing, but after this, I'm reminding myself that I need to trust that the glass floor I've been lying on is really there and even though it seems like everything around me will come crashing down, I need to trust that I'll be ok.

Lon <3

I still can't believe Lon came to meet R and me in Toronto. It was wonderful; he's a really great friend. He came a huge distance just to meet us. I wish we hadn't been so tired by the time he'd arrived. We went to a bar & grille (which I'd mentioned before) and then went back to the hotel room and played Texas Hold'em. Slept, woke up next day and went to the CN tower. Poor Lon surrounded by so many tourists.

I asked him as we were all leaving the hotel if he was making sure to look everyone in the eye as he exited the hotel with two women and he said "always".

Lon!


At the bar:


R and Lon try to remember all the rules for Texas Hold'em:




I had a pair of three's! (I still lost)


Its really amazing to me how many incredible people I've met from an online video game. FFXI was a time drain and at many times a second job, but there are now people in my life that have made such a difference to who I've become. This man is one of those people. Thank you, Lon.

Day 3 - shopping with R

Friday Rebecca had to work half a day then when she returned, she wanted to see Chinatown. We didn't want to do too much Friday afternoon because Lon was due to arrive Friday night. <3

Notable event of the shopping trip was happening upon a Fluevog shoe store and being tricked into spending more money on a pair of shoes than I ever conceived possible.

Friday afternoon I saw my first Canadian moose.


Things I saw while wandering around town with Rebecca:





And finally, my 4 inch heels:

Rebecca was trying to make me feel better about my extravagant purchase and asked when all I would be wearing my shoes. I said "every f'ing day". The joke later was that I'd even mow the lawn in them.

Erin the lush!

On Friday night, my wonderful perfect friend Lon came to visit Rebecca and I in Toronto, and we all went to a nearby bar and grill named "Gabbys" and I drank a (whole neck of a) beer! Are you proud?

Attached is a picture of the beer when I was done with it. (Lon had to finish off what little was left in the bottle... I was getting tipsy) As I reminded R and Lon, this was no ordinary beer. As we all know this is a man's beer, so it doesn't belittle it that I was tipsy off not the whole bottle. Much more manly a beer than Lon's weak old watery Guiness.

Day 2 - Self-entertaining

Today is one of the days R had to go into work so I had to self-entertain.

I went to Chinatown, which isn't as awesome as the one in San Francisco or even the one in Seattle, because those were so different, including the architecture and the streets, it felt like you'd gone into a different place. This one - the buildings and streets are just extensions of the rest of the city. But it was still cool.

Happy meat!


There were a few open market produce stands and they usually had this for sale, but I'm not sure if its a food? It doesn't look like something I'd be willing to eat.


Shop door in Chinatown.


If I lived in Toronto, I'd want to live in this building because it looks so awesome. Unfortunately its on one of the outer skirts of Chinatown in which I felt like it was a bad idea to have my camera out. I kept expecting a van to pull up alongside the sidewalk and a whole bunch of Chinese mafia men to jump out. Or ninjas But I had to take a chance and take a photo of this:


Don't be misled by the name "Chapters". Its really a Barnes & Noble or Borders, I'm certain of it. It even has a Starbucks inside. But the building is cool. I want to re-arrange the stickers on the giant rubik's cube.


Near downtown, there's a cathedral called St. Andrews. It felt like a quiet peaceful place. I went in there and thanked God for giving me the chance to experience this trip to Toronto. In the back on a second story balcony is this HUGE pipe organ and there's more pipes in the front. Not sure if they're connected to the organ in the back, but it was cool.


Why don't people make buildings as cool as this anymore?


Close up of one of the architectural details:


I'm not sure what these are, but they make me happy


There's a sports stadium near the CN tower I think its hockey, but I'm not sure... but on the side is more high up statues, but since these aren't of animals, I'm not counting them toward my game.


Close up:


Proof that there's something wrong with my brain. This is what floor we're on in the hotel. Twice now, I've taken the stairs. At about floor 4, I'm convinced Toroto's altitude is super high and that there's no oxygen here. By floor 8 though, it seems to get better.


R will be back from work soon and then we're going to eat. Jeff H. saw me online a bit ago and asked if we're gonna eat authentic Canadian food, and I said "ya. its called pizza". I walked by this pizza joint a couple blocks down that smells SO good. If R doesn't want to eat there though I guess we'll either eat in the CN tower or in the underground. I'm kinda hoping we wont be doing the CN tower and the underground in the same night. I want to have a lot of time to explore both.

I miss you guys a lot.

Is it a Toronto thing?

Ok I've only started taking photos of it, but I've noticed Toronto-ites seem to like to put statues of animals in high up places. I'm not sure what the psychology is that's behind it, but I've made it into a kinda game - how many can I find?

Cat on a chair on a pole:

I want to ask "why?" but maybe this is one of those times when it doesn't matter why there's a cat statue on a chair on a pole

Owl on a balcony:

Day 1

When we got to Chicago, we were told flights were being delayed because the air traffic control tower had implemented new software (or equipment?) and it was difficult with the unexpected bad weather they were having. Many flights were cancelled, but not ours. So we got to sit for an hour while our small, creaky plane was de-iced and while we waited in line on the runway. This is my view from my window.

I wasn't at all nervous >_>


When we got to the airport, we went to the rental car pickup. This is the scene that greeted us in the parking garage. The car was waiting for us at L-10, as noted on the card. Not many people are going to appreciate this picture like R and I did, but some of you will.



We stopped at Niagara Falls. Its so beautiful! My dad called and said if you go to the Canadian side, they offer a ride where they'll put you in a barrel and let you ride the waterfall. I guess they must have been closed. We didn't see that ride :)

Its hard to appreciate from the photo just how big the falls are, but if you look to the left of the picture, you'll see people.


This might look like a fun river for white water rapid riding, but its the river leading to the falls and probably the last place you should want to be in a canoe.


Another pic of the falls, trying to capture just how big and amazing they are, but this photo does have a shot of the building I think is the site of my favorite urban adventure story.


I shouldn't appreciate stickfigure torture as much as I do.


We crossed this bridge to go over the Niagara river. The bridge was HUGE and there were two of them and they were both painted blue! I imagine that paint salesman got a huge commission for convincing the city to paint the bridge.

Everyone here is tall!

Everyone here in Toronto is tall! Even in Chinatown. Its amazing. I actually feel average to almost undersized! Even the pigeons are hulking beasts.

Jeff Hunter has an explanation for it:
of course, there might be a Darwinian explanation. Short people suffocate in the deep snow

Look what Canada has done to my hair!

Ok reason #1 why I can't emigrate to Canada is the weather. I've taken pics of what the humid weather here has done to my hair! One more day and I'll be mistaken for Medusa. (which ok, that would be mildly cool)



This is me smirking



And so the weather has led me to purchase a hat. This is my goofy hat which I think is the main reason people stared at me so much as I walked around town today. Its big and red and the brim has a wire in it that I can sculpt the hat with :D I even got it in a real haberdashery*!



I think Toronto is beautiful and the shops are awesome and the people are all TALL!!! but I don't like the cold and wet.
my home town > Toronto. I miss my geese and the river and the heat and my house and kitties.


*Thank you, Jeff Hunter for telling me the correct way to spell haberdashery