I am going to endevour to write down the things that I will change when I become world despot:
1. Templates within InDesign will work as they should.
2. Microsoft Publisher will be eliminated from the world and all references to it erased from history.
3. I will re-organize the IRS. Taxes will no longer be based on income. A much simpler system will be implemented in which you are taxed based on your ability to spell. This should generate much more revenue for the government.
4. Spontaneous driving tests will be given to all drivers, generally at four-way stops. Those failing to understand the etiquette and procedure of a four-way stop will have their license and shoes revoked.
5. There will no longer be any one-way streets.
6. BobFM, the radio station, will immediately stop referring to "Bob" as a person, and the actors on those commercials will be shot.
Hmmmm
15 years ago
2 comments:
And when you're despot, hopefully I'll be appointed as a member of your despotic Cabinet, and I'll petition that you make the following amendments to your list:
1. All idiots will be required by law to wear an identifying mark, so as to warn an innocent person that a moron draws nigh--said mark depending on the degree of idiocy--those being from least to greatest: Idiot, Moron, Ass, Stupid, and Oaf.
2. That the punishment for not wearing the mark will be that the violator shall be forced to speak in rhymes at all times--even to ask where the bathrooms are--, so as to encourage brain activity.
Oh, and also:
--That you abolish all holidays, so as to instill a global sense of fear and respect from your subjects worldwide. Every holiday except St. Patrick's day. Appearing to favor the color green makes you seem environmentally concerned, which sheds a positive light on you since you could use some, being a despot and all.
--other laws to be suggested as I think of them.
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